What Do You Want?
Being humans our wish list is infinite and our appetite for “wants” insatiable. This is why we keep on running after a myriad number of desires all our lives without ever taking a moment to really think and decide what do we really want. This more oft than not leads us to wasting our lives away at pursuits that make us feel unhappy and unfulfilled. We do get bouts of happiness and fulfillment but they are temporary and short-lived and usually not deep-enough to touch our core. When this temporary phase of happiness and fulfillment is over we are back to the same place where we started from, i.e. running after some “want” again.
And so it continues this way till it is too late and there is nothing left for us to do other than just have a life full of regrets. This is why each of us needs to look deep within ourselves to see what we really want from our lives. The answer has to come from within us. It can’t come from anyone or anywhere else. No one else, no matter how close they are to us, can tell us what we really want from our lives.
Each of us have something in us, which if we nurture and pursue, will lead us to living a life of happiness and fulfillment. Of course, it’s not always easy to pursue what we want. There will be times when the going will be very tough but the satisfaction that comes with it will more than make up for any difficulties experienced in pursuing it.
As it is life is full of challenges and we will encounter them at all stages of our lives, whether we want to or not. Then why not face these challenges in living a life that we truly want rather than in a life that we are unhappy and unfulfilled about.
Think, feel, and sense what you truly want from your life. Then go ahead and try to live it. It’s possible!
I will be happy when……
I will be happy when I get that promotion.
I will be happy when I graduate.
I will be happy when I buy my favourite car.
I will be happy when I buy my own house.
I will be happy when I will have kids.
I will be happy when I get married.
The list is endless. And so is the wait.
When it comes to our happiness, we are our biggest enemies. We go to great lengths in convincing ourselves that the present time is not the right time to feel completely happy – that total happiness is something that we should be looking out for in future, not now.
We keep putting off being happy for future. We constantly convince and remind ourselves that when our dreams of future have been accomplished, only then will we be happy. Till that time we should keep our happiness in check and not get carried away.
Time passes by and in our twilight years we look back at our lives and regret that we should have allowed ourselves to feel happy at every single chance we had gotten no matter how trivial it was. That we shouldn’t have wasted all the opportunities that came our way to be happy in perpetual wait of being happy for a big reason in the future. But by that time it’s usually too late. Act before that time comes.
We shouldn’t wait for tomorrow to be happy when we have realised our biggest dreams. Instead we should start being happy right now. Keeping an open mind and heart and by looking around us, we will find that there is so much that we are blessed with that were we to consciously acknowledge it, it would bring us a lot of happiness. Try doing that and you will be surprised by how much happier you already feel.
Till my next article, stay happy and God bless!
Comfort Zone – An Expensive Place
All of us crib and complain about our lives and lament how unhappy we are and wish that our lives would be different. But how many of us actually do something to bring about a positive change in our lives? Hardly anyone! What exactly do we do to change them? Hardly anything!
We keep on living the same lives that we always have lived and which we absolutely dislike. We keep on doing things that we have always done – in the way we have always done them – and then expect a miraculous change to happen in our lives. That will never ever happen. It doesn’t work this way. We are just fooling ourselves.
Deep down we know nothing is going to change till we change and make changes in our lives. Then why do we still do it?
Because we are scared of change. We don’t want to leave our comfort zone – the place which is familiar and comfortable to be in – where there are no surprises or shocks, where we don’t have to be jolted into making changes to our lives and taking action. We would rather be depressed, unhappy and deeply dissatisfied with our existing lives than take some positive action and change our lives for the better.
It’s the fear of change that prevents us from bettering our lives, from realising our dreams and from living the lives that we yearn to live. This fear keeps on nagging us till it’s too late. Then comes the time when we are about to leave this world and we look back at our lives with immeasurable regret and disappointment. We think of all the opportunities that came our way, all the chances that we could and should have taken but we were too afraid to take risks and we continued on with our mediocre existence. And now it’s too late to do anything about it. We can only sigh and think of what our lives could have been rather than what they had been. We think about the greatness we could have achieved, the dreams we could have realised, the monumental things we could have done and the perfect lives we could have lived. But by that time it’s too late. Nothing can be done now. We must go from this world with all our dreams and ambitions buried within us.
We go with an extremely heavy heart, knowing very well we won’t ever be getting another chance again. Is that the price we are willing to pay for staying in our comfort zone? Is the fondness for familiarity in our life and the aversion to take risks really worth this heavy price? We must all ask ourselves this before it’s too late, before it’s time for us to go. Rest assured we won’t be coming back for a second innings of life. Therefore take the chance, seize the moment, let go of your fears and live your life. It’s the only one you have.
How many times have we all thought, planned and promised ourselves that we will start doing something (a new hobby, healthy diet, exercise, spending more time with the family, quit smoking, stop watching TV endlessly, etc) from tomorrow. All of us! The list to do something from tomorrow is endless, and sadly so is the wait. Because that tomorrow never comes and for most of us will never ever come.
We make big plans and promises to ourselves but hardly ever keep them. We are so much caught up in our habits that we aren’t willing to give them up, not at least without putting up as much of a fight as possible. And this leads to us feeling guilty and suffering from low self-esteem. With every puff of that cigarette, which we had yesterday promised ourselves that we would be giving up from today, we curse ourselves for being the weaklings that we are. We blame ourselves and once more promise ourselves that as soon as we finish smoking this last cigarette, we are done with smoking and would never ever light another cigarette. And so it keeps going on and on.
This is not to say that when tomorrow comes, none of us are able to keep our promises to ourselves. Some of us are able to do so, but not for a long time. Just for a few days or weeks and then it’s back to the old habits, which we so desperately wanted to give up.
Why do nearly all of us fail in keeping our promises to ourselves? And how can we succeed? The trick is not to wait for tomorrow to come. Do it today. Ask yourself why it can’t be done today and then start it from today? You might come up with all sorts of reasons, rather excuses, as to why it can’t be done today, but be honest to yourself. Can it really not be started from today? Can’t you start eating healthy, exercise, quit smoking, spend more time with your loved ones, etc from today? Is it really that difficult that it has to be procrastinated till tomorrow – the tomorrow that never comes.
Think about it! And now it’s adios from me. It’s nearly midnight and I need to finish off that tub of Belgian chocolate ice cream with chocolate chips. I need to do it tonight because from tomorrow I am giving up having ice cream in favour of something healthy, like fruits.